When you feel
nothing
and want more
just wait a second
and walk outside.
The birds will be louder.
Listen to the birds.
They’ll tell you about the path to take.
You’ll follow it
to the woods
where pools full of mud
lay still
from the biggest thunder storm
you’ve heard in ages.
You might be afraid to look at your murky reflection
but when you do
you’ll see he’s right there with you.
He always was.
Walk further.
Hold his hand.
Descend into the trust.
When you do there’s joy you told yourself you should not feel
but you deserve it.
There’s more joy than pain down there.
Continue
at a pace that works for you
pausing when you need to
to peer into dark things
but remember to keep going
to show him the bridge
you’ve run on so many times
and where
the frogs sang a funny delirious song for the both of you.
You can’t see them
but you imagine the band
that was playing the song
you’re creating together
On your journey back
there’s a tangible reminder
that kicking the bucket
won’t be so bad when you are with him.
But, sweetheart, those side-by-side rocking chairs
are so far off.
So, for now, keep the moon in your hand
and look up together
on hot spring nights
with springs under your backs
knowing all of it
every single second
was leading you here.