No good

I’m no good yet
at being the new me.

Strings from old spiderwebs
attach themselves
tangling up and slowing down
the forward motion.

The past
finds me
and reminds me
of the grooves of old patterns
meant to define me.

Where do I go from here?
How do I make sure to never abandon myself again?

I find I am often
simply alone
questioning every move I make
simply exhausted
from not quite knowing how to trust myself.

I briefly considered
spinning up
a happy ending
full of wisdom.

But, instead
I’d rather sit uncomfortably
in the reality of this feeling.
Staring it in the face
rather than
my pattern of
running from it.