You don’t have to be jealous of me.
You just have to be better.
Tune in. Slow down. Enter their worlds full of magic and let their stardust fill you up.
The less you can be an adult with them the better. Make a fart joke. Dance. Watch their faces carefully when they find magic in something we’d consider mundane. Laugh at her jokes. Bask in his wisdom.
When they are fighting or crossing a line, ask yourself why. Don’t assume they are flawed. Assume they are tired or hungry or sad or angry.
They won’t remember all details of our divorce. They will instinctively remember the feelings when they are 27, 45, and 80. The emotions will catch them off guard and throw them on a high speed train right back to 10 and 5.
Find the patience even if you’re faking it at first. Sometimes I fake it too, but it always blurs a line and I find the real and true actual joy deep down. Every single time.
When you are tired, ask for help. I’m here. Your family is too. They’d catch a plane in a heartbeat for you.
The truth is that they will carry this unstable time in their bones forever. Make sure you stabilize yourself now.
Start immediately.