Flailing forward

You painted a pretty picture of me
The type of girl you hoped I’d be
A model citizen
Who fits right in

I held on to the frame displaying the girl who boxed me in

My grip too strong for too long
It suddenly slipped from my fingers
Tumbling down and shattered in pieces all around me

It wasn’t at all remarkable
The crash
In fact, I felt so light after it dropped
That I just walked away
Like it never happened
Leaving the pieces all over the floor

I did want to be her
Tried to be her
But I failed

Oh, what fun it’s been to finally fail!
Over and over
Making a mess
Laughing at myself
While discovering the true version of me

How intimidating it must be
To approach a woman
Who is starting over from a place of strength and independence Who is free

How special it is
To be chosen by someone like this
Because they don’t need you at all
They want you

If you pay attention to the difference
One represents a careful choice
The other flows out of desperation
Quite a difference in sensation

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