My best friend says
I live in another time zone.
She’s right.
Except…
I often feel I’m farther away than that
dreaming in a different universe.
I jump in without considering the consequences.
Starting with an 8 mile run I haven’t trained for
straight past a no-alcohol allowed sign with a whiskey affixed to my fingers
through an icy lake
and into love as if it hasn’t shattered me before.
I’m so tired of following the rules with
my writing
in life
and
in love.
Because I see where playing it safe dropped me.
There’s poetry in my loneliest hour
when I can laugh at myself
for being a walking contradiction.
One minute I’m so sure of the decision I’ve just made
and a second later I am suddenly feeling more clueless than ever.
This often leaves me dazed.
But, I think that’s the nature of
the dreamer.
When I’m not quite here or there
I know that’s my heart being wildly impulsive
and taking me on another self-imposed fool’s errand
which I decidedly won’t question
until it’s over
when I am cursing my heart
and wishing I’d just use my brain.
And yet, over and over, I’d rather risk it
to see where my longing leads
even if it doesn’t make sense
to anyone else
or even
to me.