Radio silence

You tried to explain away your radio silence.
You edited and rewrote in your mind your version of events to keep yourself blameless.
To keep you as the victim. To make it all about you. For the four hundredth time.

You think I don’t see you, but I do.
I see everyone, especially you.

But your damage is your own and you cannot damage me.
It’s so infuriating to you when you try.
You’d like to knock me down to your level.
You’ve tried and tried and I stay here, unmovable, shining bright in the darkness.

You wonder how I do it. You’ve never asked me though.
Instead you sit on top of your high horse, feeling righteous, planning your next attack.
Surely the next one will work.
But, it won’t.

I dare you to keep trying. All it does is let your envy show.
You’d like to be me, but you can’t.
I’m a mystery.

You think, “how can she be so OK?”.
You’ve never asked me.
You’ve never thought to ask one single thing about the real me.
And, so you’ll never know my secret.
You’ll never know why I am always and forever OK in my darkness.
I’ve got a secret weapon, she walks beside me and lives within me forever.