Who am I when I’m not a mom?
Who am I when I’m not planning the next phase of my life?
Who am I?
I know what everyone I’ve met has wanted me to be. I sensed it from their subtle and not-so-subtle clues and behaviors, and I morphed into the perfect version of me for every single one of them.
It’s my super power and the super destroyer of my authentic self.
Who am I?
I can tell you when I feel most at peace.
I am peaceful when I’m walking in the woods alone, writing full novels in my head.
Actually, a more honest answer is this: I’m always peaceful when I am alone.
I notice sensations and breezes and bees that simply land on the words I’m writing in my journal.
I’ve never let myself be with just me.
To know who I am.
It will be the greatest gift I can give to myself to just stop.
No next plan, no dreaming of the perfect future.
Just be here. Now.
Let what my future is be what it is without my obnoxious intervention.