Photographer

Alba: “Can I take pictures with your phone?”Me: “No, but you can use my good camera instead. You just have to promise me you’ll be really careful.”Alba: “Ok, I’ll be super careful.” Alba then wanders around the house on her own for the first time ever with my Canon EOS 70D after receiving a one-minute… Continue reading Photographer

Raw

I wish I were a live wireAnyone who dared come close enough to me I’d wreak havoc onReady to strike on a moment’s notice. I used to carry my own spark, keeping it glowing and ready to show me the path through my darkness. Now the spark is fading, barely noticeable. I’m raw—not the pretending… Continue reading Raw

Integrity

I’m not perfect, but I have integrity. I shared a home and beautiful children with someone who I believed when he told me he was sorry and would do everything in his power to not hurt me. Again. Maybe it’s naivety, but I believe the words people tell me, especially from someone who convinced me… Continue reading Integrity

Third time’s a charm

For reasons I’ll never in my life understand, my five year old daughter sat at the breakfast table with me this morning and pointed at my high school 20th reunion sticker on the fridge that says “Joanna Carmona” and said to me “that’s not your last name.” She was upset. She said I needed to… Continue reading Third time’s a charm

Dear Honduras

Querida Honduras, Veo que lees mi blog todos los días.¿Qué buscas?Él es tuyo. No te preocupes.No lo quiero. He seguido adelante. He dejado un pedazo de mi corazón en Nueva York.  Joanna

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Time traveler

I wish I were a time traveler.I’d go back and talk to her. I’d find her on the beach reading a book.She’s sitting in her favorite spot, seven blocks from her apartment, looking out into the Pacific. Her hair is up to her chin. Her nose ring sparkles in the sun.She’s pondering what’s ahead. I’d tell… Continue reading Time traveler

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Radio silence

You tried to explain away your radio silence. You edited and rewrote in your mind your version of events to keep yourself blameless.To keep you as the victim. To make it all about you. For the four hundredth time. You think I don’t see you, but I do.I see everyone, especially you. But your damage… Continue reading Radio silence

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Cursed woman

The following is a guest post by someone who shall remain nameless and has been translated into English from its original Spanish version. Cursed woman, you are a son of a *****, ******* *******, you are a ******* ******, a **** ****. You are not going to have a future, you poor unclean woman. Is… Continue reading Cursed woman