Category: Uncategorized

My best friend saysI live in another time zone. She’s right. Except…I often feel I’m farther away than thatdreaming in a different universe. I jump in without considering the consequences. Starting with an 8 mile run I haven’t trained forstraight past a no-alcohol allowed sign with a whiskey affixed to my fingersthrough an icy lakeand… Continue reading Dreamer

I was cleaning out the memory card on my Canon and came across a photo my daughter took just a few days ago. In that moment when I saw myself I realized how rare it is to see a picture of just me. I’m not doing anything special, but the mere fact that she wanted… Continue reading To be seen

I don’t wish to have a clear mind.This week, I’d rather be distracted. I can’t help but noticewhen I dig in too deepmy hands come up filthy. This weekI want to be shallow. Barely skimming the surfaceforgetting the rootsand breaking away from the slog of self growth. I don’t wish to be wiseor thoughtfuldeep ortrustworthy.… Continue reading I don’t wish

I really, REALLY hate giving advice. For two reasons. One: I don’t know shit.Two: People typically already know what they need to do—they just need someone wise enough who can shut up and listen while they sort it all out. But, I feel oddly compelled in this moment to write about what has genuinely helped… Continue reading Stupid little tidbits

The truth isI was a sleeping passengeron a trainwaking only for brief moments of clarity. Desperately trying to coast my waythrough my own lifeby being numb to it all. The trouble with losing sight of yourself isn’t what it feels like in the moment. It’s the weight of when you reappear like an afternoon naplasting… Continue reading Slow motion

The perfect homesighs at nightweary from the day I can hear mine groaningremembering the mud-tracked feetdozens of children finding their waypast the front doorinto light-filled roomsleaving only specks of dirt and traces of laughter in the walls The perfect homeis one that simply isn’t perfect at allbecause it knowsperfection is the enemy The perfect homeasks… Continue reading The perfect home

I found out todaythat Alba hums a little songevery time she misses mein school, on car rides, seconds before shutting her eyes It’s just a few notesstrung together perfectlyinciting a memorya reminder of me What if I’m meantto follow her leadinstead of my tired roleof a persondoing an impressionof someone who knows it all She’s… Continue reading To my wildflower

I’m no good yetat being the new me. Strings from old spiderwebsattach themselvestangling up and slowing downthe forward motion. The past finds meand reminds meof the grooves of old patternsmeant to define me. Where do I go from here?How do I make sure to never abandon myself again? I find I am oftensimply alonequestioning every… Continue reading No good

I don’t know if I’m removed enoughor ever will beto shareprecisely how I got here today. I sit in disbeliefremembering suddenly where I amexactly eight months to the daywhen my life became a rugripped out violently from underneath me. Like the trickwhere a tablecloth is yanked outfrom underneath plates and cupsnothing shifting. But it’s not… Continue reading Arriving

I turned 39 on Tuesday. My dad, whose tried-and-true role is listening in the background of phone calls to the recounting of my chaos, chimed in on my birthday to remind me that he was 39 when I was born. At 39, he welcomes the last of his five children. At 39, on this impossibly… Continue reading 39