Sometimes I wonder why I’m so compelled to write. Why have I always been? Yesterday my neighbor hung a plastic bag on my front door. Inside was a sweater she thought would look good on me. I didn’t notice her pass by my window to deliver it. The sun had gone down without me noticing—my… Continue reading Sweater
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A Halloween
Alba’s elementary school chooses to call her Halloween parade an Autumn Walk. Her teacher says it is Noche de Brujas. I call it the first Halloween ever when I won’t go trick or treating with my kids. I can’t quite stand the thought of doling out candy in my doorway, each little face reminding me… Continue reading A Halloween
It’s more than just the miles
It’s more than just the milesIt is what they representA metaphor for this pretty little life of ours Starting on shaking legswalking oftenIn time and with perseveranceleads to power and confidenceGreat big strides Muscling throughuntil I catch myselfsprinting madly in pitch-black streetsno street lamps for milesbut I no longer fear the darkness I see it… Continue reading It’s more than just the miles
Treasure hunting for the fairy
For Rafe and Alba, for being my magic every day. I knocked on the fairy’s house and she said she wasn’t home.But I heard her voice clearly echoing off the walls. “You can’t fool me,” I said. “And besides, I’ve only come back to play.” “You don’t remember how to play,” the fairy said. I… Continue reading Treasure hunting for the fairy
Relentless
The words“In a year things will be completely different”have been ringing in my ears all these months. In my lowest moments the timeline taunted me.It forced upon me a deadlineto be changed, better somehow.What if I wasn’t?What if I was still broken in little pieces?What would that say about me? On better days I found… Continue reading Relentless
Dreamer
My best friend saysI live in another time zone. She’s right. Except…I often feel I’m farther away than thatdreaming in a different universe. I jump in without considering the consequences. Starting with an 8 mile run I haven’t trained forstraight past a no-alcohol allowed sign with a whiskey affixed to my fingersthrough an icy lakeand… Continue reading Dreamer
To be seen
I was cleaning out the memory card on my Canon and came across a photo my daughter took just a few days ago. In that moment when I saw myself I realized how rare it is to see a picture of just me. I’m not doing anything special, but the mere fact that she wanted… Continue reading To be seen
I don’t wish
I don’t wish to have a clear mind.This week, I’d rather be distracted. I can’t help but noticewhen I dig in too deepmy hands come up filthy. This weekI want to be shallow. Barely skimming the surfaceforgetting the rootsand breaking away from the slog of self growth. I don’t wish to be wiseor thoughtfuldeep ortrustworthy.… Continue reading I don’t wish
Stupid little tidbits
I really, REALLY hate giving advice. For two reasons. One: I don’t know shit.Two: People typically already know what they need to do—they just need someone wise enough who can shut up and listen while they sort it all out. But, I feel oddly compelled in this moment to write about what has genuinely helped… Continue reading Stupid little tidbits
Slow motion
The truth isI was a sleeping passengeron a trainwaking only for brief moments of clarity. Desperately trying to coast my waythrough my own lifeby being numb to it all. The trouble with losing sight of yourself isn’t what it feels like in the moment. It’s the weight of when you reappear like an afternoon naplasting… Continue reading Slow motion